Archive for the ‘Transition to College/University’ Category

Rebecca at Scripps College

This last year alone, I did over 100 campus visits. That’s a lot of time and expense spent on travel! So why do I do it? Because there is no better way to get a feel for what an educational institution is all about. And for my families living outside the U.S. who can’t so easily travel, I become their “eyes and ears”.

When I talk to students about boarding school or college/university, they are usually interested and engaged. They know this is a huge step in their lives. However, I often feel like I am talking in abstracts because the student really cannot visualize or imagine just what it is that I am trying to describe. When I ask what they want out of college, the setting they may want, or the number of students that might be ideal for them, they usually have no clue what I mean unless they have done some visits. Far too often, their boarding school or college list is based solely on the well-known rankings, but there has been no thought as to whether or not that school may be the right fit for them. They gravitate towards name recognition and what is known. So I often spend a lot of time trying to give them a sense of the huge array of opportunities and differences that are out there.

My own campus visits are the number one way I learn about colleges. When I visit a campus, I am doing multiple assessments as I appear to be “just walking around”. So please allow me to explain ­­­­7 most important things I’m looking for during the campus visit.

Susan Sykes, my friend and colleague, and me at Miami University

1. Setting. Where is the school in relationship to the world? Especially for students coming from abroad, whether they are American Third Culture Kids(TCKS) returning “home” or international students, where they study is extremely important. Such things as access to a major airport, rural or urban settings, and surrounding neighborhoods tend to be significant factors in whether or not the student will adjust. Campus safety is also extremely important, so I want to know what kind of neighborhood it’s in and what the student will pass through to get to and from campus. I always ask myself how I would feel if MY child were going there.

2. Campus atmosphere. What does the campus “feel” like when you walk around? The best campus visits are made when students are present. What image do they project? Do they look happy and relaxed? Are they friendly? Stressed? Where are they hanging out? Are they interacting with each other? Where and how are they studying? Are there signs up for activities?

3. What Students Have to Say. Whenever I have a chance, I always talk to students. These may be chance encounters, a student panel, or the student tour guide. Through our conversations, I can get a lot of information about the student body and their values, activities, campus life and campus culture. I ask about how they feel about their instructors/professors, projects, availability of classes, class size, advising, where to go for help, college or career guidance, study abroad, internships, other students, presence of other TCKs or international students on campus, the food, activities, weekends, what kind of student would be happiest there, who wouldn’t be happy there, what the “party scene” is like, what they like best, what they would change, etc.

Upham Hall, Miami U

4. What Instructors/Professors and Staff Have to Say. How do they talk about their work? Their students? Why do they love (or don’t) love teaching/working there? How many adjunct/part-time faculty do they have? What is the teacher/professor turnover rate? What special programs do they offer? What are the strongest departments? What new initiatives are being undertaken on campus? What are they looking for in students (admissions)? How selective is the boarding school/college? What is their retention/graduation rate? Have they experienced any pain due to budget cuts? You can tell a lot about a school when you ask someone to talk about their work!

5. How Residential is the Campus? If it’s a boarding school, I want to know how many students live on campus as boarders relative to the number of day students. If there are boarders, are they 5-day boarders who go home on weekends? If it’s college, is it mostly residential or commuter students? Is it a “suitcase college”, i.e. students go home on weekends? If students live on campus, are they guaranteed housing all 4 years? If not, what is the local housing market for students like? These questions are a huge factor in building campus culture.

6. Physical Plant and Facilities. I call this my “mulch test”. Are the grounds well-kept? Is maintenance being done on schedule? How does the campus look and feel? What are the buildings like? Dorms? Food services? Recreational facilities? Athletic facilities?  Studios for the arts? Library? Where do students do most of their studying?

Students hanging out between classes at Miami U.

7. Understanding of TCK or International Student Issues. I saved this one for last. I want to know – would my student coming from abroad, a long way from home, with a wealth of different experiences to share, feel welcome and valued on this campus? How strong is the institution’s commitment to helping international students adjust? What countries are the international students coming from? How are they recruited? How does the institution view the TCK (or do they even know what that is)?

By the end of the campus visit, I usually have a good sense of the kind of student that would do well at that boarding school/college/university. Most of my families find it hard to travel to visit even a few boarding schools or colleges, let alone all 9 or 10 that may appear on the customized list I prepare for a student. So during the family meeting when I’m explaining why I am recommending certain schools, I can speak with confidence about why the school will probably be a good “fit and match” for that student’s individual needs.

This thought is always in the back of my mind – if this student chooses the school I recommended, and the parents take their precious child to the campus on the first day to drop them off, based in large part on my recommendation, are they going to be happy with their choice, or want to kill me for suggesting such a place for their child? I want both students AND parents to feel comfortable and happy, knowing that they have considered all their options and made the right educational choice!

The band started playing “Pomp and Circumstance” as the graduating class of 2010 processed into the gym. Coming to see the graduation of some of the students I had worked with on college applications was the culmination of a busy week in which I had blogged, posted, emailed, and spoken to parents about the transition to college, especially for Third Culture Kids. I had listened to, advised, and consoled parents about how to get through graduation without tears and embrace the changes their children were about to experience. So then, as the students entered the gym, why did I get a lump in my throat and feel tears stinging my own eyes? I did not expect to get emotional – after all, I wasn’t the parent this time and I was the one who had been doing the consoling!

As I sat there through the graduation ceremony, I thought about that long and hard. What was wrong with me? Why was I getting emotional about this? And the answer came to me – because as the one who helped to guide and advise these students, as well as my other students in other parts of the world, these kids and their families had become very dear to me as we experienced the journey together.

The role of the educational consultant, or independent counselor, is not just that of someone who helps kids decide on schools and gets the applications done. No, it’s much, much more than that. It’s about relationships.

With each one of my students, we had spent hours and hours talking about their personalities, interests, hopes, and dreams. Together with their parents, we took our time fine tuning “the list” until we had a list of schools that would be appropriate for them and their uniqueness. We had brainstormed ideas about essays, and in doing so, had had wonderful and candid conversations about who they were, who their friends were, what stirred their souls, and how they were going to tell their story. I knew when each one of them had hit the “send” button on their applications, and heard from them one by one as the acceptances and denials came. And I helped them think through their values and how they would make their final decisions. For each of these kids, I have loads of emails and online chats saved, most of which start with “Hey Becky!”

But even that was not all that we experienced together. Each student and family has a special story to tell….and throughout the year, the story keeps unfolding. We talked about their schedules, how to approach the SATs, how to deal a difficult class, stress, a less-than-hoped-for grade or grades, wait lists, denials, and setbacks. My students faced crises throughout the year as well – serious illness, deaths in the family, the loss of fellow students, and uncertainty regarding their own family circumstances. Parents confided their own hopes, dreams, fears, and worries with me, too, and I answered countless questions that they had. We were in this together.

So it’s no wonder that seeing students graduate was also an emotional moment for me. It wasn’t just seeing the students I had worked with make it to the finish line with their college acceptances in hand. I was also thinking of the students whose graduations I would not get to see in person, and knowing the stories of the families who stood behind their kids. Most of all, I was struck with how much love and support these kids had been fortunate to receive. And how lucky I was personally that I got to play a role in shaping their futures. These new graduates are my kids, too, and therefore, my own tears are those of pride and joy.

by Rebecca Grappo, founder, RNG International Educational Consultants, LLC

The countdown to graduation has started! Students now know where they will be attending college, and they are busy saying goodbye to friends and hopefully, looking forward to new beginnings. Many of them have heard over and over that going to college is going to represent the “best four years” of their lives. So the expectations are high that this is indeed true! It’s a bittersweet, emotional time for everyone – parents included.

Now let’s add to the mix the experience of being a Third Culture Kid. Kids who have grown up overseas may be returning to the country of their passport to go to university. Or perhaps they are going to yet another new country, this time on their own as an international student. Yet another scenario is the TCK who will remain behind in the country of their passport to study while their parents go overseas again. No matter what the situation, major life transitions are in store for them.

I have done many presentations to students and parents at various international schools on the topic of transition to college, and have written several articles about the topic as well. It is very important to raise awareness about the complexities of transitioning to college for any student, but especially the TCK. They not only have to adjust to life as a college/university student, but also as one who may not always feel perfectly at home or comfortable on campus because of their TCK characteristics. Sadly, too few of them even know what that means. Therefore, I’d like to highlight some resources here that may help you and your family navigate the challenges of adjusting to university life for the Third Culture Kid/Global Nomad.

The Global Nomad’s Guide to University Transition by Tina Quick is a new book completely devoted to this topic. I blogged about attending her presentation at the Families in Global Transition conference back in March. I have had a preview of the book, which will be released by mid-June.  (I’ll be sure to alert you when has been!) It is chock-full of invaluable information, and as I wrote in my review for the book itself, it should be put in the hands of every TCK going off to university.

Maureen Tillman, a psychotherapist in New Jersey, has a practice devoted to helping students transition to college as well as helping students who do not succeed get back on their feet again. She just did a radio interview about the transitions to college which you can listen to on iTunes. (The first few minutes are chatter, but the interview will follow, I promise!)  She also blogs for the New York Times, and has a practice called “College with Confidence”.
Then for TCKs returning to the U.S. (though I’m sure any TCK would be welcome!), there are summer transition sessions for high school and college age TCKs run by Interaction International.

For information about sending your child to college from overseas, check out my article  that was published in the AFSA Foreign Service Journal (June 2008) called Flying Solo – Going to College from Overseas: A Guide for Parents.

For practical tips on adjusting to college from other TCKs, read TCKs and College/University: From Overseas to Undergrad that was featured on the expatwomen.com website. I especially enjoyed writing that article, as many of the TCKs interviewed were former students of mine from my years of teaching overseas.

I also have information about  transition to college from a parent perspective gathered on my website. From the College Resources page, scroll down to “Parent Resources”.

Lastly, though there are hundreds of issues that kids and parents need to be aware of, I have found that many students do not have much experience handling their personal finances when they go to college, nor do they really understand basic credit instruments. Here is a resource for students that will give them the basics about credit education.

Hopefully, your children will transition smoothly! If not, know that there are many resources as well as caring, knowledgeable, and experienced professionals out there who can help.

And if you start to get too weepy about your child leaving home, just remember. This is exactly where you wanted them to be at this stage of their lives. They’re going off to college most likely because you’ve also been successful as a parent. So rejoice that you have the opportunity to see them launched!

For more information about college planning services, or presentations on TCKs or college-related topics, please contact me.